I spent my freshman year at UVA before transferring out, during which I did research at the Ultracold Matter lab. The experience led me to choose Quantum as my area of study, and I declared a Physics and Electrical Engineering Major.
The Research Experience
At UVA I found an opportunity to do research with the UVA Ultracold Matter Lab working on Optical Tweezers, and looking back I could probably do everything I did my freshman year in a week or two now. Mostly because there was never any in-depth explanation of Fourier Transforms in the research papers I was given for background, and I spent a lot of time reading other papers trying to find one that did. Which was like trying to find a research paper that explained what an integral was.
The Struggle and Growth
That dynamic describes a big part of that research experience, I would be given a task that my advisor thought didn’t require explanation, and I would spend weeks “catching up”. Those parts caused me some frustration, but I was never upset with my advisor or the material, I was upset with myself for not being at the level where the information was common knowledge.
I felt useless knowing what I was doing in two semesters could be done by them in a few weeks, a fact that would also make me asking questions or for elaboration a waste of their much more important time. I’m someone who needs to carry my own weight, so it would have been easy for this stress to negatively shape how I saw research.
However, there was one quote from my advisor that really shaped my perspective on that experience. From it I realized that my job in the research lab was fundamentally different from that of my advisor or grad students.
“You learn about what everyone else has found as an undergraduate, and then see what YOU can find with that basis.”
— Dr. Schauss
The Skyscraper Metaphor
In the lab I saw everyone around me building skyscrapers, and thought I would never be a physicist because I couldn’t keep up. I hadn’t considered that which hadn’t happened right in front of me, the base that they had carefully built for years before they began building. I was taking things for what they were without consideration for what they had been, and taking myself for what I was instead of what I could be.
The moment this idea clicked I realized that I, the guy who was so clueless that he applied to business school and accidentally became an engineer, finally had an answer to the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
There was only one place for people who couldn’t settle for studying anything less than everything, who spent their lives building skyscrapers that neatly accommodated all knowledge and facts.
💡 The Moment of Clarity
I would become a Quantum Physicist.
The Transfer Decision
To become a Quantum Physicist I knew I couldn’t stay at UVA, considering their quantum program was a two course physics sequence and an elective on Quantum Engineering, which I had already taken my first semester. So I began the process of transferring.
A Humbling Experience
After spending so much time writing about my research on my applications I decided to adapt a script for a YouTube video on it. Thus started a new hobby, as I finished that video and decided to do another on a research method developed by Greiner Lab, affiliate of the Harvard-MIT Center for Ultracold Atoms. I even scheduled a tour with them and later the Duke Quantum Center. Ultimately I didn’t follow up with the Greiner Labs walkthrough however, after a humbling experience at the Duke Quantum Center.
It was a mostly informal meeting, where I walked around and talked to grad students about their projects. I understood so little of what they were saying however, that I knew I couldn’t make a good video about the lab. My base of knowledge wasn’t where it needed to be to get the most out of the experience, but I still thanked them and decided to put my videos covering research on hold. It became apparent to me that there was a natural order to do things, and if I really wanted to understand the stuff in front of me I couldn’t neglect any part of my foundation. If something didn’t stand on a mathematical proof, I would get closer to the problem until it did.
Life at CVS
I also had a job at CVS while I studied at UVA. I would come in on Saturdays from 4 pm to midnight, which I liked since after 7 pm no one would really come in. There were a few customers that I still remember after all these years.
📷 The Passport Photos
There was also a Hispanic guy who brought in his family for passport pics. I didn’t charge him the $18 per person I was supposed to. Although, I usually didn’t for everyone that was nice to me since it was a 3 cent print job.
🍦 The Ice Cream Guy
There was one guy who would always come in at 10:30 pm and buy a pint of strawberry Häagen-Dazs ice cream. We never talked to each other, but we became part of each other’s Saturday night rituals.
✉️ The Columbia Letter
Most notable of all was the girl who came up to check out when I opened my admissions letter to Columbia. The first person to find out about this great victory I had achieved, and she was just trying to buy a box of tampons. I wonder if she ever thought that story was as funny as I did, you wouldn’t expect the cashier at CVS to have much going on, would you?
The Foundation is Everything
UVA taught me that in science, as in building skyscrapers, the foundation is everything. You can’t skip steps, and you can’t rush the process. Every great physicist started where I was: confused, overwhelmed, but curious enough to keep going.
The transition from business major to accidental engineer to quantum physicist wasn’t linear, but it was authentic. Sometimes the most important discoveries happen not in the lab, but in those quiet moments of self-reflection at a CVS checkout counter at 11 PM on a Saturday night.
UVA gave me my first taste of real research, my first glimpse into the quantum world, and most importantly, it gave me the clarity to know what I wanted to become.
